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Westielover
29th November 2020, 11:19
I was watching a documentary about Rio Ferdinand and how he encourages his children to talk about their feelings because of the loss of their mother and it was heartbreaking but so lovely that they could talk openly about how they feel.

I then thought about a dear friend of mine who died of cancer leaving her two children behind and they barely talked about their mum because they couldn’t remember her.

My question is, should you have one foot in the past or look to the future and remember your loved ones inside but not talk about them every day? I just feel it is a good to talk in the short term but has damaging effects in the long term.

Beatrice
29th November 2020, 20:14
I think it is good to be open, bottling up in the long term causes ill health, emotional instability and resentment.

It means issues are dealt with early before they are allowed to fester and become big issues. Also, the feelings can be understood and when people understand what you’re going through daily it helps people to support you through those moments.

Sarah
10th December 2020, 14:35
Always good, but not too much otherwise you begin to alienate yourself from others.

I have friends who are so needy and almost energy sucking :sly: if I can say that?

Monroe
12th December 2020, 15:36
I think people share a lot of themselves and I have done so myself with support from people which is lovely but I have found it has been used against me many times when people who are toxic have played mind games knowing I have had a breakdown so they can say, “Oh, she’s just sensitive, it’s all in her head”. I am going to keep my feelings to myself if I meet new people so in my opinion it’s good to share a little but not too much

Goatie
13th December 2020, 11:49
I think we have become a nation of over sharers and there is a time and a place to share your feelings, or am I old fashioned? :jb:

Louise
27th December 2023, 12:05
Spiritually, there is a lot of information that suggests this is a good thing. Holding back issues and not working through them causes blockages in the body. It is said that these blockages eventually lead to disease when not dealt with and cleared.

Talking through these issues is beneficial to yourself, providing that you don’t burden the recipient, cause a rift in friendship and most important the process of talking through the issue actually unburdens you and helps you to release it!

Release, let go and move on!

onajite
28th December 2023, 13:16
"Reflecting on Rio Ferdinand's open conversations about loss and contrasting it with a friend's situation, the balance between remembering loved ones and moving forward is delicate. While open discussions offer short-term solace, finding a balance that preserves memories without dwelling excessively is crucial. Grieving is a unique journey for each person.

Amie
28th December 2023, 15:17
I think talking about a loved one that has died when there are children involved is essential. It is healthy for the children and is not about keeping one foot in the past, rather it is about keeping a person present in a child’s life for their present and future.